He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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