you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
It's official drugs can't kill me
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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