piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
