What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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