Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
