How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
