you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
