so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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