when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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