got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
