So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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