I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize