We need to rekindle our bromance
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
