you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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