just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
