I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
