I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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