Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
