I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
