He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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