Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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