Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
