I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
