I heard we made out
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
