I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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