Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
