shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
