white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
i now understand why vodka
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
