there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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