Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
In the future we'll all be gay
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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