i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
