I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize