people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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