Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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