I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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