I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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