I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Randomize
