Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
