my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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