I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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