I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I deserve this hangover.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize