Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?