did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
