Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Randomize
