i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
