How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
accomplished twins. life is a go
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize