I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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