I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
