sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
