She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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