oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
