i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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