That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
it's like iHOP with fire
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
