Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize