You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
