i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize