Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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